CONFESSIONS OF A GEN-X PREMIUM CABLE JUNKIE: ATTACK OF THE KILLER
TOMATOES (1978)
Despite this being a little more high profile than most of
the movies I’m going to be covering in this series, it was in many ways the
definitive “Star Channel” movie for me. So at the risk of ruining a perfectly
nice bit of childhood nostalgia, I bought a digital copy and sat down for a
trip down memory lane. To add even more pressure, I coerced my 9-year-old son
into watching it with me. Would either of us find this seventies artifact, a
movie often spoken of as one of the worst films ever made, entertaining in the
21st century? Let’s find out!
THE MEMORIES
I was 9 or 10 when I first saw ATTACK OF THE KILLER
TOMATOES, which is just about the perfect age to watch a movie like this.
At that age, one is old enough to understand some of the inappropriate jokes
and feel like they’re getting away with something, but still young enough to
yuck it up at the silly, immature gags that made all the serious, adult critics
of the time groan.
But who cares about the critics, especially when you’re a
kid? For me, this movie was comedy gold. I made sure to get in a couple of
repeat viewings while it was in rotation on Star Channel. I knew the theme song
by heart. I drew crayon masterpieces of tomato carnage in art class. I’m pretty
sure if it hadn’t been for STAR WARS, I would have told you at the time
that ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES was the greatest movie ever made.
But as such things happened in the late seventies, ATTACK
OF THE KILLER TOMATOES was eventually removed from Star Channel’s schedule.
I got older, and saw many other, arguably better films along the way.
Eventually I watched the film on VHS and found it to still be reasonably
amusing. I also saw the so-called “director’s cut” released in 1995, only this
time I wasn’t quite as amused. Mainly that was due to the alterations rubbing
me the wrong way.
I haven’t seen the movie since. Until now.
