'The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh' can't even save itself

CONFESSIONS OF A GEN-X PREMIUM CABLE JUNKIE: THE FISH THAT SAVED PITTSBURGH (1979)

 

THE MEMORIES

I’ve never been a sports fan. Never. Not baseball, not football, not basketball. The closest I’ve ever come was a period in my late adolescence through my early twenties when I was a fan of professional wrestling, which really doesn’t count. That said, I’ve always enjoyed sports movies. Go figure.

 

And while I didn’t watch basketball games during the seventies, I nonetheless knew who Julius Erving aka Dr. J. was. Like Lebron James, Michael Jordan, and Magic Johnson, he was the sort of athlete who transcended basketball to become a pop cultural icon. If you were alive in the late seventies, you just knew who he was.

 

Even more than Dr. J., though, I was familiar with Meadowlark Lemon, who played for the Harlem Globetrotters. For those who don’t know, much like the professional wrestling matches I would enjoy in later years, Globetrotters games were staged, with the predetermined outcome that the Globetrotters would always win. Also like professional wrestling, the fact that the games were staged in no way meant that the athletes were not highly skilled. But beyond their playing ability, the Globetrotters were first and foremost entertainers. And thanks to their appearances on Saturday morning TV (on Scooby Doo, and later their own show in which they were superheroes of some sort) I was a fan despite having never seen an actual Globetrotter game.

Explore the secret lives of stewardesses in short film 'Wives of the Skies'

[WIVES OF THE SKIES premieres on Amazon Prime on Tuesday September 29^th.]

 

I didn’t really expect a film dealing with 1960s stewardesses and Japanese bondage to be simultaneously charming, sexy, and feminist. But that’s exactly the case with the Honey Lauren’s short WIVES OF THE SKIES. Showing an attention to 1960s period detail and filmmaking technique similar to Anna Biller (VIVA, THE LOVE WITCH), Lauren explores the private lives of two young women whose job it is to cater to the needs of airline passengers and look fabulous while doing it. While objectified by many, the reality of who they are is very different than the typical male fantasy.

 

Our window into this world in the film comes via documentary filmmaker Derrick (Drew Brandon Jones). When he decides to interview stewardesses Fran (Rachel Alig) and Marcy (Madisson Bullock) for a documentary on their profession, he does so with a number of preconceptions and expectations. It isn’t long before his expectations are dashed.

 

WIVES OF THE SKIES is a very skillfully conceived and put together film with a winning cast. I’m just not sure there’s enough here to lift it above the level of a good looking, pleasant diversion, even with the feminist subtext and the respectful depiction of Japanese rope bondage (kinbaku). It feels like the first act of a feature film that then tacks on a majorly abbreviated conclusion more than a self-contained vignette. Regardless, the well-crafted visuals, humor, and subtext make this one worth a look. Besides, it’s a safe bet you’ve got 20 minutes to spare. You probably aren’t going to be catching a flight anytime soon.

 

'The Wretched' scares up big drive-in box office in the age of Covid-19

[THE WRETCHED opens in Ravenna, OH on Friday May 22nd at the Midway Drive-In Theatre.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

In ordinary times, a movie like THE WRETCHED would likely have had a few late night screenings in select markets before going on to digital, where it would have had a hard time getting noticed amidst all the other low budget horror offerings. But with the Covid-19 pandemic completely upending the normal patterns of movie distribution, and major studios either holding back their releases or sending them straight to digital, a niche has opened for low to mid budget films to play theatrically at drive-in theaters (and apparently a few indoor screens in states that have relaxed social distancing rules).

It is thanks to this unique set of circumstances that THE WRETCHED, a modestly budgeted horror film from writers/directors Brett and Drew T. Piece, finds itself at the top of the box office charts, taking in around $300,000 since opening May 1^st on 11 drive-in screens. This Friday it expands to a few more locations, including the Midway Drive-In in Ravenna, OH. It’s also available to watch at home on the streaming platform of your choice.

That’s an interesting backstory for the film, but what really matters is whether it’s worth watching, pandemic or no. The answer is… kinda? Let’s just get to the review.

There's something out there in 'The Vast of Night'

[THE VAST OF NIGHT opens in northeast Ohio on Friday May 15th at The Mayfield Road Drive-in in Chardon, the Elm Road Drive-in in Warren, and the Magic City Drive-in in Barberton.]

Review by Bob Ignizio

While THE VAST OF NIGHT is set in the 1950s, its themes are just as relevant today as they ever were. On the surface, the film is about two small town teenagers – radio DJ Everett (Jake Horowitz) and switchboard operator Fay (Sierra McCormick) – trying to track down the origins of a mysterious radio signal that interferes with both the phone system and Everett’s broadcast. What it really seems to be about, though, are small town fears. Both the fear of being stuck in a place where you don’t belong and don’t see much future, and the opposite but equal fear of leaving that place, no matter how stifling it might be.

Director Andrew Patterson, working from a script by James Montague and Craig W. Sanger, allows his film to unfold at a leisurely pace. Not only does that give us plenty of time to get to know our two leads and the world they inhabit, but it allows the mystery and suspense to build slowly and naturally. There’s talk of UFOs and possible alien abductions, and a subplot about a government cover-up that touches on our nation’s legacy of racism. But Patterson plays it subtle, and doesn’t try to juice things up with contrived action or peril. There is a satisfying (albeit ambiguous) payoff in the end, but it’s far from the sort of climax one would find in a more mainstream film.

Don't say "Ok, Boomer" to the bad-asses of 'VFW'

Review by Bob Ignizio

Filmmaker Joe Begos seems to be following the old saw, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” with his latest film VFW. The film primarily takes its cues from John Carpenter’s 1976 siege action film ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13. Instead of having his punk rock thugs attack a police station, though, Begos pits them against a band of mostly senior citizen bad-asses who just happen to be hanging out at the local VFW hall across the street from punk central.

VFW spends a decent amount of time establishing its characters and their situation, but makes sure to get to the violent action before losing the eyeballs of today’s attention challenged audiences. And once the action starts, it doesn’t let up.